stressed

stressed.. cant breathe..God, save me pls..

stressed- accused of commtting crime--huh?

well, this month, surely everyone will be bz applying this n tat, its either you go straight to college, or still awaiting answers from your scholarhsip applciation. Well, i'm the one, still working on the application. pity me.. i relaly cant sleep everynight. so stressed.. thinking, thinking thinking... very afraid n anxious.. worried tat i might left out some points or important matter... until, now the forms i completed, i still havent post them.. i really am suffocating... i never realised that even after graduated from high school, life could still be so hectic and stressful... pls give me back my no-worries-life.... omg... pls cum back acumanametata..

n den, i chop sth myself at skul, the kerani say, hey you, saya boleh tangkap kamu tau.. you sedang langgar peraturan, tapi, saya tolong kamu, saya takkan beritau pengetua..... i wonder.. did she even mean.. any line tat she said... who cares.. wow, i'm about to be a convict man.. how cool... i wish it would be that simple... =.= these ppl have a pea brain man... nvr think out of their puny box.. (amazingly, her big huge body could fit in).. well.. she should learn to shut up one day.. hopefully

how i feel

yup, it has been long
well, first thing first.. i got straight A's, yet, i wasn't quite satisfied. you can say i'm insantiable, cos i'm not.. i juz couldn't believe tat, all my life, i wont win sum ppl.. i juz can accept and comply with it.. ya ya ya.. i heard ppl saying she is out of her mind, very to compare, like to win, thinks all bout winning. Ya, right, as if you dun have a problem. Pls, dun condemn me until that extend. i hv feelings too, okay? you're fine with my results, but i'm not, why should you care, and give comment? Ok, frens, is still frens.. dun cross oer tat border. sumtimes, i dun feel like talking to you all.. anyone of you. all you know is hurting me.

n, i still wanna say, you have problems too, okay? when we tell you your prob, wat u say? you will only say, "tat's me, i cant change." its a very irresponsible word to use. 1st, you nvr care bout our feelings, 2nd, i really felt angry to hear tat. i dunno la, i nvr can fight win you 1, n you will not listen (maybe you depreciate me, or contempt me-who knows) so i alredy dun feel like talking more to you. you like to be like tat, is your option, since you have been living like tat since dunno when.n i know clearly i hv no right, n no thx, i dun wan it either..

no offence, i'm jus releasing some anger here, juz take it as you nvr seen it if you do/did.

a day out- tequiero yo!!

day after valentine's day, 5 of us supposed to go out, yet, amanda din show up. i showed up late tat day. becoz of teahcers, erm.. quite fed up actually.. my first round there, soong take leave, cheng busy, n scolded me for going to her so late- as if i wanted to, ppl working le.. btw, she straightened her hair.. imagine (i din give comment-dun accuse me for anything). not only so, i wanted pn rubiah to certified n sign the recoomendation letter, yet everyone said, she is on a long vacation, will be back on 26th, cos her son marrying. wow.. seriously wtf man..

but, i really belif (now) in the thing called law of attraction -let me explain.. our human brain, there's an inner part, well, which control our thoughts, n the msg we deliver.

example, a sad ppl, her thoughts, negative, she will give a sad signal to others, ppl will feel that she is dull , n will they like her???

answer-no..

so, i was so mad when i came back home after the first trip to school, then i reahced home, my mom corrected my thoughts. so, i dun blame those teachers anymore, i tried to stay as positive minded i could. guess wat, my second trip(on the same day) to school, pn rubiah's juz in the office, to sign sum letter before her long vacation.. my god, straight away, i asked her to sign n certified sum things.. n mission accomplished

so- conclusion- positive minded is always inportant!!!!

den, i arrvied at 12 sth reaching 1, the show we're suppoesed to watch, will be starting at 1.10.. so, i din get to eat at kim gary.. sob sob.. i have craved for it so long.. yet.. F...

nvm, n comment for kungfu dunk, the movie i watched- not bad.. i nvr expected it to be that gud.. illogical though.. but, seriously not bad. me n violet said, erm.. beta than CJ7 in a way la.. not overall..

n hor.. hehe, i hv precious n exclusive news wei!! wahaha.. violet got admirer!! n she really becum more feminine alredy,. while saying this, i'm feeling very sorry n regret for myself. cos i hv cut my hair until damn short. well, more masculine for me.. swt.. now i cant even tat shirt i juz bought. n audrey, still a losser.. wat a losser (i'm saying myself as well)

then, we took sum photos b4 going back.. kinda stupid.. but, definitely going to be hard to take these type of photos again. so i appreciate them all.. n luv them as well.

Valentine's day

today, seriously, wat a day... i enjoyed it. the happiest n most fantastic is having my old fren, my stupid bro, moo moo.. long time nvr see him... haha, tat fat cow fat d... wahahaha.... actually, juz feel very grateful n paiseh... coz i felt like wasting his whole day, keeping me company, n even helped me with work.. i'm kinda selfish right? couldnt keep him company (in a better way) whole day, but i still insisted him coming... erm... well, i juz wanna see him, n since to day is a special day, so i wanna give it a try to see whether hv chance of seeing him anot... like meeting old fren, feeling so good... had a great n hppy time/....

n den, fun part is during break time... wahaha, called amanda to meet at sakae.. wai kit, long time no see, came along as well.. haha... his first comment- why cut so short??.. well, i wonder too.. haiz... a bit regret.. but, i know i still look the best.. cos i read books everyday...erm, although it doesnt make sense, but there's a proverb in chinese saying, -without books for three days, your look will be terribly distorted... (ok, i exagerated a bit) n den, we were all so stupid at the ordering.. n den i was rushing rushing.. eating eating, ended up with a stomach ache-cos the fish is so smelly... well, i cant stand seafood tat is not fresh
(like -duh... i'm borned in a sea-food village).. i enjoyed tat dinner.. i think its nice.. n eating with moo, ling, n kit.. well.. we made quite a lot of jokes.. laughed all the way.. n ate all the way.. did u notice i focus on the eating part a lot?? well i cant really help.. tat's y i'm living for.. wohoohooor..

b4 the day is called off... 3 freaks came with a weird face expression.. n a pretty girl showed up.. i really wonder at first who this girl is.. oh, then i realised it was hui fen... swt... well.. i can only say -女大十八变.. wahaha.. but, i turned ugglier.. so unjust.. hmm..n sumhow, they found my weakness n kept on pointing into it... which is food.. they said they had sumthing nice.. very very nice... well... i really strike at the centre,n got a jackpot, cos food is the only thing tat can fluctuate my emotions a lot... wohoho.. i dun get the name -fei po- for no reason..

there.. cum the sad part.. or u may say annoyed part.. i received a teddy today.. erm.. dunno from hu.. anonymous... ask rong er to give me.. sorry rong er, i hv forgotten u, but, i knew tat you were familiar.. tats y when she gave me the bear, i am very concerned tat if she was the one paying.. cos,we are not very closed, n if lets say she paid for it, n den the "guy"-which i dunno who, din pay her back, tat will be a gift from her -accidentally... so i intended to pay her, at least i make it a gift from my self.. i dun really craved for a gift,, at least not like tat.. if u wanna give me, pls, dun ask ppl to pay first.. last time the case was ah wei.. i alredy fel;t very bad.. seriously i dunno how to explain.. well, i dunno who this fella is, but, i will appreciate more if u dun give me this pressent if rong er was the one who paid for it juz now.. but if the fact is not like tat, i would not give any comment, cos having a presetn on valentines day is still a gud thing..

but,, having my frens with me, is also a great gift alrdy

n i nvr knew tat giving ppl a surprise gift, could be so fun n exciting.. well continue back to the sakae, i left early, n moo moo was paying for me. i could guess it wouldnt be sheap, well, probably guilt, but i hv always wanted to give him a present, for keeping me company through hard times.. but i din expect him to cum actually, although i hope-cos he always last minute FFK me.. haha so i din prepare a present, den i spotted one, i dunno y, i liked it quite alot, cos thats my fav colour n, so good to touch.. so i bought, n i wrapped it.. stealthily.. n den, there goes the present.. well, that process was fun..

i really love to day.. precious memory... ^_^